Finding Connection, and Yourself in the Diplomatic Life
Living abroad as part of Canada’s diplomatic community is a unique journey – one filled with incredible opportunities, cross-cultural adventures, and the privilege of representing our country. But as members of the Canadian Diplomatic Family Network (CDFN) know all too well, it also comes with its own distinct set of challenges: the constant packing and unpacking, the bittersweet farewells, navigating unfamiliar territories (both geographically and socially), and the particular complexities of being the “other half.”
It’s a life often misunderstood by those back home, sometimes romanticized, sometimes dismissed. It can be isolating, bewildering, and occasionally, downright absurd. If you’ve ever felt a pang of homesickness on a Monday morning after your partner leaves for the mission, struggled to find your footing in a new posting, or wondered if you’re the only one grappling with the loss of your own identity amidst the demands of diplomatic life, then Brigid Keenan’s Diplomatic Baggage: The Adventures of a Trailing Spouse is a book to read.
A Mirror to Our Lives
Keenan, a seasoned journalist and long-time spouse of a European Union diplomat, chronicles her decades of following her husband, “AW,” across continents – from a chicken shed in Nepal to the snowy steppes of Kazakhstan, via Ethiopia, Brussels, Trinidad, Barbados, India, and Syria. She writes with a poignant honesty and, most crucially, a wicked sense of humour about the “oddities and loneliness” that accompany the role.
The book’s genesis came from an encounter with a young, unhappy Romanian ambassador’s wife in Kazakhstan who asked her bluntly: “Is it worth it?” That question resonates deeply, doesn’t it? It’s a question many of us have likely pondered during challenging postings. Keenan’s book is her hilarious, heartfelt attempt to answer it.
Reading Diplomatic Baggage is like sitting down with a witty, experienced friend who gets it. She understands the feeling of being an appendage, the career sacrifices often made, the reliance on household staff who become unlikely confidantes (despite language barriers and cultural mishaps!), and the constant cycle of arrival, adaptation, and departure. Her descriptions of that dreaded “first Monday” alone in a new country, or the paranoia of social exclusion, will strike a chord with anyone who has navigated the diplomatic circuit.
As Keenan herself writes, “The raw truth is that no one truly understands the ex-pat spouse’s life except another ex-pat spouse.”
Laughter: The Best Medicine (and Diplomatic Tool)
What elevates Diplomatic Baggage beyond a simple recounting of experiences is Keenan’s ability to find humour in almost any situation – even the disastrous ones. From cultural misunderstandings involving rats and frying pans to disastrous dinner parties and near-misses with wildlife (and furniture), she turns potential despair into laugh-out-loud anecdotes.
This isn’t just frivolous entertainment; it’s a masterclass in resilience. Finding the humour, often through self-deprecation, is a vital coping mechanism in a life where so much is outside our control. Keenan’s stories remind us that laughter can lighten the load of homesickness, frustration, and the sheer absurdity we sometimes face.
Finding Purpose and Connection
Keenan also touches upon a core theme relevant to the CDFN’s mission: the importance of actively shaping your own experience. Life is what you make of it , you can’t just sit there and let it happen to you! You’ve got to grab opportunities with both hands! Keenan rams this message home, showcasing her own attempts – sometimes successful, sometimes chaotic – to find purpose through writing, volunteering, and embracing the unique opportunities each posting offered.
Her journey reflects the CDFN’s spirit of mutual support and empowerment. While acknowledging the difficulties, her book implicitly celebrates the strength, adaptability, and resourcefulness required to thrive as a diplomatic spouse. Keenan herself notes the rise of spouse networks around the world, recognizing the power of shared experience and community – something CDFN members understand intrinsically.
An Essential Companion
Even though written before the full digital age transformed communication, the core emotional and practical challenges Keenan describes remain remarkably relevant. Described by some as the “trailing spouses’ Bible,” Diplomatic Baggage offers validation, camaraderie, and plenty of much-needed laughter. It’s a reminder that while the diplomatic journey can be demanding, it’s also rich with extraordinary experiences and unexpected joys.
Whether you’re facing your first posting or are a seasoned veteran of the diplomatic circuit, Brigid Keenan’s voice will feel like a kindred spirit. Pour yourself a cup of tea (or something stronger!), settle in, and prepare to laugh, nod in recognition, and perhaps even shed a tear or two. It might just be the best debriefing you get all year.
Brigid Keenan, Diplomatic Baggage: The Adventures of a Trailing Spouse is available in several formats (audiobook, ebook and paper)
More about Brigid Keenan here!
